Nah, I don't Want You Like That!
February 1, 2009 4 Comments
You do a couple favors for this person, share a few laughs, have quite a few things in common and may have even hugged and/or kissed the cheek cheeks on occasion.
Things are cool & cordial until they make a bold stupid move and come right out to say that they have developed feelings for you. This may be through a random text message, a sudden physical show of affection, or revealed after receiving a gift. Frozen, shocked and in awe you are left speechless or you may come right out and tell them how it is, “nah I don’t want you like that”.
For those of us who are not that brave rude, you may find yourself stuck in the initial reaction stage, paralyzed with panic. The feeling is not mutual, nor do you want it to be. You just want to go back to having a platonic relationship because those exist right?
The damage has been done. Does one go about repairing the relationship? And is the relationship even salvageable at this point?
I believe everyone deserves to know where they stand in a person’s life. It’s a karmic obligation we all have (deceive and you will be deceived), especially if you have integrated them into your life as a friend, platonic or not. We all know how it feels to be in the dark about how someone feels about us (or maybe just I do). By no means am I suggesting that when we initially meet new people that we mesh well with, who happen to be of the opposite sex, we tell them straight up I just wanna be your friend. Its creates awkwardness, and you may come off as arrogant. Life throws us curve balls- friendships sometimes develop into something stronger.
But I do believe that if this person is being gutsy in coming to us with his or her feelings we have an obligation to tell him or her how we feel right back. What they do afterwards is their own business or the court’s business, depending on how they take it!
In addition I imagine our reactions differ by gender. Men are most likely to shut down, and fade out if they don’t want to get inside your draws. Men hate clingy behavior and “feelings” automatically get you shunned.
Women are most likely to be more direct cunning with their response. We can work with feelings and our response will most likely be more nurturing? And NO, getting one of your girls to tell this dude to get lost is not being direct!!
But what if you are on the other side of the glass? You’ve spent “enough time” with this friend to know that you want him/her bad, but you are reluctant to express yourself. Their sociable persona somehow translates into infatuation in your mind, and you find yourself constantly fantasizing about what if you would do if you were alone in a room together …..
Maybe then one day you decide to man up and spit the truth, but the response is not what you expect -or maybe it is!!
I’ve been on both sides of the glass. Yes, I do have a nice side and sometimes it gets misinterpreted as flirting. And yes sometimes I misinterpret a compliment on my assets as a green light.
So people, give it to me- How do you deal with the friend who wants to be more than friends? Is a platonic friendship possible with members of the opposite sex or same- sexual preference even? How do you deal when the awkward moment hits?
Platonically (I don’t think that’s a word) Yours,
Tee’d Off
Uncategorized
Yes, it is very hard for men and women to be friends in today’s world of dating. Like you said you have to be clear about your agenda. Both male and female have the obligation to be honest. Face To Face. In this sex crazed world you have to set your boundaries and you have to be careful with the flirting because with men, well most of them already thinks that every woman wants them. That is why now I try my best to be very careful about what I do and say around a man. Platonic relationships can work only if both parties are practicing common sense but majority of the time no men and women can’t be friends. Especially men because 90% of the time their agenda is to get you in bed regardless. Women are more honest with the platonic role. That’s just what I think.
I believe that its possible to have friends of the opposite sex sometimes its not easy but its possible. The question is how did your friendship start?? Was there flirting? Speaking from experience I have friends that are males and have ever since high school. Guys are sometimes easier to talk to and they are half the drama than a lot of females. I’ve had a lot of males that wanted to turn our friendship into more than it was and I wasn’t feeling that. I’ve been a “joker” and “clown ” for as long as I can remember so I would let them know that I just want to be friends and nothing more and I would laugh it off and throw a joke in so it would smooth out the tension. You get past it and you move on with the friendship. Women can sense when a “friend” wants more than a friendship and that’s when I throw in ….” I’m so happy that were friends because I would never want to ruin our friendship by being more than we are now.”
And that’s my take on things!
I know what we talked about but remember, i am dre and this one is to you MAMA. everything you said was all true and i loved it , so continue to do your thing. you know i could not leave without leaving you with one. stay sweet and beautiful.
What do you want from me?
Do you want my love?
Or do you want my friendship?
You confuse me through what you say
You say you love me
But don’t seem to care
Why don’t we just be friends?
Nothing more
Nothing less
Perhaps you still have feelings for me
But why don’t you show them?
Why must you hurt me this way?
I still love you
But I just want to know
Do you feel the same?
“In this sex crazed world you have to set your boundaries and you have to be careful with the flirting because with men, well most of them already thinks that every woman wants them.”
@ Mel : Amen!! Thanks for your comment
@ Nikki: You’re right, it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex, and It does have a lot to do with how the relationship started. If you started off flirting well you def send a green light to the other party thats it’s ok to expect more..Thanks for your comment!!!
@ Its Me Beauty: You are crazy…luv you..Thanks for your comment!!!