I am My Karma Pt.2: Discernment or Balderdash?

Last week I introduced GI readers to my 2^nd second bible The Power of Karma by Mary T. Browne, and we used the book to discussed zebra stripes and relationships. I didn’t receive any feedback in the way of comments, but I hope the piece provoked some thought. Today I want to discuss discernment and sex and how the two are related to Karma. Many times we are quick to slip under the sheets, catch feelings and when the other person reveals himself or herself, it’s a total shock. In The Power of Karma,Mary T. Browne provides readers with an exercise to perform when meeting someone new. When I first read this a few years ago I made a bit of a screw face, because at the time I felt that putting an expiry date on sex would not help me get to know a person I’m dating better. Over time my views have changed, and I thought I’d share this excerpt from the book which I believe can help us make wiser decisions when we decide to give ourselves to any one person. The exercise requires you to keep a journal and follow some very important steps in order to learn the art of discernment. I don’t know about keeping an actual journal, but here is a list of the exercises from the Power of Karma:

1. Record your very first impression of anyone you might become intimately involved with. Date it.
2. Write in the journal No intimate involvement for a minimum period of forty days. (Wow! The ultimate body fast). If the person tries to push you, dump that person immediately. This is a neon sign telling you that you are being disrespected. Disrespect always creates negative karma.
3. Record the progress of the relationship- just a few lines daily. E.g. does he call when he say’s he is going to call? Does she want to meet your friends? Relatives? Where did you go? How easy is it to talk to each other?
4. Be thrilled if you can write down that the person you like is scrutinizing you in the same way. It indicates someone who is looking for love in all the right places. Just as you are.
5. At the end of the forty days, if your relationship is not over, then your instinct might pass the test of time. The karma is still undecided, so proceed with dignity, integrity, and cautious optimism.
6. At the end of the forty days, if your relationship is over, you must be totally honest with yourself. Read what you recorded. It may hurt and embarrass you, but at least you the facts in front of you. History does not have to repeat itself. Changing your history changes your karma.

I’ve been guilty of slipping under the sheets a bit too soon, but I’ve also waited and been disappointed too. Forty days may seem like an eternity, but as I mature, I realise that Ms. Browne has a point. My essence is not just between my legs. If you don’t cut it with the lights on, why should I give you a chance to cut it with the lights off? Like I mentioned before, the idea of keeping an actual journal may not be realistic for some. But you can keep some notes on your phone, or record the info as a task in your outlook or e-mail software.

When I waited, I waited 30 days because I had just got out of a relationship and this person was a rebound, so I wanted to take my time. The relationship did not end up working because I was too involved with school and eventually went back to my ex (smh, yes the EX) but we remain friends to this day.

Although Mary T Browne has a point, is the 40-day hold out necessary? Are there other ways to learn discernment without putting a hold on sex? Would you leave someone who put you on hold? And lastly, would you share your 40-day hold out plan with someone you’re dating or just make them wait?

10% off for Mr.Do Right on my 40-day special,

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