My Appointment With the “Life Coach”
June 30, 2009 3 Comments
GI family, I have got nothing to hide. Whether things are good or bad in my life, for the past 5 years I have managed to stop by the office of one of the most influential women in my life for a good “coaching” session. Yea life coach is in quotations, I go to get me some counselling. Now traditionally amongst the black Diaspora there is a negative connotation associated with seeking professional services of the medical field even more so with head shrinkers. We all got that family member, for me its my grandmother who refuses to give up sweets and fried foods, even though they know the moment that sugar or grease reaches their arteries the ambulance will be on stand by. Well the same goes for counselling. If you need it, reach out and get it. And yes, there are counsellors who look like, or somewhat like you, who will tolerate the cussing and possibly vibe with you on the disappointment of the BET awards (a topic you will not be hearing from me on btw). I think that whether we have lots of friends or family in our support networks or not, it’s refreshing to converse with a stranger, a stranger who is trained to scrutinize our madness.
With that said, I recently had an appointment with my “life coach”. Why did I feel the need to have a session with my “life coach”? I wasn’t entirely sure myself, I’m back in town, things are taking off for me side-hustle wise, and a non-relationship is budding for me. I’m happy; so happy. But with happiness and progression naysayers, backstabbers, and a whole host of people who would rather see you licking the dirt of their shoes than see you smile, come out of the woodwork. And the simple solution band-aid to that problem is to ignore them, and hold your head up, like moms taught you, but 90% hate + 10% positive= 100% confusion!
When negativity is constantly thrown in your face, you either a) want to join in b) feel defeated. I was definitely feeling defeated. But my life coach said the most interesting yet simple thing, which made more than a whole lot of sense to me that I want to share with you all. When people come at you with negative comments, they are usually unhappy with themselves. I know, you’ve heard that before, so have I. But unhappiness is easy to mask. For example a friend who has always been pushing you to do your best and preaching how sky’s the limit, suddenly becomes ghost in your life, or only appears to offer “constructive criticism”, how can we automatically assume that the friend is unhappy? The friend may have previously served as a mentor, and has had your back and all of a sudden- flat line—–.
Well what I learned is that (I love bulleting my points?) a) its not your job to figure out why the other party is fucked up…especially if they are not reciprocating with honest feelings b) The more you progress, the more the universe is going to throw at you
Detachment is powerful. We may not be able to ignore negative people and forces in our lives with as much willpower as we’d like to, but I promise if you keep those two points in your mind…you’ll get there.
All deep and intellectual today,
Tee’d Off
Lifestyle
i just discovered your blog… I was drawn to it by the name.. Great look… We all need a “Life Coach”.. I know I need more in my existence…. And there will always be negativity whether we are up or down… But I also believe its the meaning we associate with our circumstance that gives it power, And if we can also keep that point in mind, we will mos def get there…And you are exactly right it is not our job to figure out why err’ one else is fucked up!!!
thx 4 da post
Hey Roderick!
Thank you so much for reading…have a drink and stay awhile please.
“I also believe its the meaning we associate with our circumstance that gives it power”
I mentally highlighted that statement and re-read it about 10 times..because i knew it was powerful but couldn’t comprehend it..but then it hit me..if I take to heart the negative comments being thrown at me, all of a sudden they become my reality and b4 you know it, i am engulfed in the negativity…but if i recognize that the meaning of the negative comments is that I’m actually progressing and that the other person is effed up then thats exactly what it is…we have so much ability to alter our our environments to our liking….good stuff thank you for your comment!!!!!
Word!!!!