Myth: A Woman’s Life is Love, a Man’s Love is Life?
July 26, 2010 9 Comments
I’ve always felt relatively left out of a specific portion of girl-only conversations. Not the sex part, not the shopping part, and definitely not the who’s-the-finest-athlete part, but the boyfriend part. I’m currently in a relationship, but unless I’m prodded or specifically asked how “we” are doing, I’m probably going to keep the conversation focused on my girlfriends’ lives.
I know women who literally center their lives and goals around a man and I’ve been warned that my time will come. My time will…come? When? Should I get vaccinated or sum-thing? I’m a couple years shy of thirty and I have yet to end my sentences with my S.O’s name or go on a dream vacation, get dragged to various in-laws houses and get pressured about starting a family. I mean if you get me going on the topic I’ll speak on him, but in general I’m private and I guess I’m known for being Goddess, the woman, the individual, the weirdo?!
You will be hard pressed to find my relationship status change on Facebook or pictures posted of me sucking face with one of my sexington exes (I ’ve managed never to date below the 5.0 line). You may find a sex tape lurking around, but all in all, I’m a kiss and don’t tell (only on the blog) type of girl. For a minute I’ve started to second guess myself. Am I supposed to talk about what me and blah blah did? And what me and blah blah want? And what me and blah blah are gonna do?
I don’t know y’all, I think I missed the memo.
I love being in love, but I love life even more.
Everyday for the past 27 years I have had the privilege of waking up and no matter how late I sleep in or how late I get to the job, I love the fact that I’m still standing…I’ve overcome quite tough personal circumstances and have had to build myself up from nothing ; I’m in love with my struggle.
I would much rather talk about ideas I have, build community, create and of course sample vintage wine than focus all my energy on a man.
I think about him everyday and a lot, I smile, I fantasize and I’m grateful for his presence in my life at the moment and since 199_, but I know that there is so much I need to do for myself before I can be that wife and mother I’ve always dreamed of being. But I don’t live for love, I live because I love, if that makes any sense.
Everyone around me keeps saying things will change and that soon we’ll be inseparable, how they can foresee this is beyond me. I’m resisting it with every bone in my body.
I don’t want inseparable I want infallible, dynamic, adventure and individualism.
I want the power couple without the power struggle.
I want….to hold on to parts of me that may be ready for change.
Myth: A woman’s life is love, a man’s love is life
Truth: A woman’s love is what sustains life
Venting with a veinte,
Goddess Intellect
Relationships
I love this post! Your not weird..you share what you want.
You’re…you and no one else.
I’m just happy you’re happy.
GODDESS Girl this right here —> “But I don’t live for love, I live because I love” Chile I passed the collection plate to myself and took my own money.
You don’t never have to talk about your relationship. That is your choice. I see nothing wrong with it.
I’m not one for the “just because it happened to/for me this way, you’ll experience the same” statements when it comes to relationships. I think everything you need to know, feel, etc. will present itself when it’s supposed to. Sometimes folks use those comments as a prod, at least that’s how I see it.
First. Damn! I love the new site … I want one.
You and I are similar in wanting to keep our “spirit” while maintaining a relationship. You from youth, me from experience. (I feel a mini-post so I’ma stop right here)
I think “they” should show a desire to understand you a little more & stop trying to domesticate you. I believe you can (& will) have all that you desire.
Top notch post eh!
Oh dear Mr.T….You used “eh”!! LMAO
I’m glad you like the new site…my friend WordPress hooked this one up.
Thanks for the encouragement, I’ve always been a rebel so this anti-domestication thing is no different lol
I’m sure overtime folks will just have to accept me the way I am.
“Everyone around me keeps saying things will change and that soon we’ll be inseparable”
Be careful with those that say that….being “inseparable” is cute and makes for great movies and romance books but I’ve also seen many a female lose themselves in the gushing glory of a relationship…..
“being “inseparable” is cute and makes for great movies and romance books but I’ve also seen many a female lose themselves in the gushing glory of a relationship…..”
Inseparable is kinda sickening to me. Even when I was co-habiting, I had moments and days where I wouldnt even talk to him and would stay posted up in my room.
I so agree with you, I think I’m repelled by the whole inseparable/domestication factor because I’ve seen it completely transform a person to the point where they are unable to think and do for themselves….however I’ve also seen the opposite.
I’m a lot like you, as you already know.
I’m very very very single at the moment, haha, but when I’m involved, I also don’t feel the need to discuss my relationship in detail with anyone. I pull a Jay-Z & Beyonce, I have no comment. Too many people involved is a recipe for disaster.
I also am not the kind of woman to get so caught up in a man that I lose myself. I still find time for friends, family, and whatever else is going on. I think it’s quite healthy to do things solo. He has his interest and you have yours. You can meet up after. As Nightfall says, “…I’ve also see many a female lose themselves in the gushing glory of a relationship…..” TRUTH!
I will forever support the Jay-Z & Bey style of relationship. They totally did their own thing for a long while before they decided to settle down, however even tho they are hitched they are still doing their own thing…mad respect for their union.