If you’re in a part of world where white blankets of snow have put a stop payment on your social life than you know all about the real march madness- the countdown to spring. You may or may not have participated in cuffing season but let’s get real, we’re about to change seasons and this applies to more than just the weather.
The saying, “some people are only in our lives for a season” could very well apply to this warm blanket of love that has kept your cold nights warm and spicy. The easy part is over, you’ve managed to stay in sync for a season but now the 3-6 month point is coming up and it’s time to decide whether the relationship is seasonal or one worth staying in. How do you keep the flame going?
A lot of women (and sometimes men) make the mistake of either a) expecting the relationship to be the same as it was in the beginning b) Letting the need for a title replace fun & growth.
I’ve had conversations with a few of my guy friends and they cannot understand why after having a great time with a woman the fun ends and there is this anxiety that enters the relationship about giving it a title. Men naturally hiccup when the word commitment is uttered but deep down many would like this stability, however cuffing must be mutual.
The biggest misconception about the time in a relationship after cuffing season is that a big declaration of love is going to be made and you can then proceed to change your relationship status on Facebook. That’s not exactly how it works love. This is the time in the relationship where you revaluate why you are in this.
Set aside the need to be “chose” or the fear of being alone…leave it in the corner for a second. Does your energy level go up when you are around this person? Are your memories and conversations thus far more than just sexual escapades and explicit text messages? Do you feel closer to this person than when you first met or do you feel there is a wall being put up? Have you met the man/woman behind the representative? Are your dreams ambitions and goals in sync?
When you figured why you are in this relationship and whether or not it’s working for you then it’s your responsibility to communicate this to your partner. Hey, the feelings may or not be mutual. That is the chance you take when you are dating and on your way to finding true love.
There is no set method for keeping a relationship together but bringing energy of anxiety & pressure to commit while forgetting that fun and growth is a gradual process will hurt your chances of keeping the cuffs on.
Instead of asking how you can keep the cuffs on, ask yourself if they are comfortable on in the first place?
Blindfold Speed Dating (Toronto)- March, 28, 2013
Battle of The Sexes (Oakland, CA) April 28 2013
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