I’ve come to realize that “the game” gets a lot less challenging as I grow older. Perhaps it’s because it has become more intriguing to understand why people do what they do as opposed to pressing buttons. I recall writing about my journey of overcoming a fear of commitment with my previous beau. At one point we ran into each other while I was out for dinner with my frrrriend and the look on his face whilst we were allegedly in “break-mode” was priceless.
Dude was indeed my friend and I had even invited the ex over to eat with us (after freaking out in a corner for 20 minutes) but he had already left the restaurant. The situation was awkward as hell. We weren’t together and we were not apart. We spoke every day. I was simply not able to let the regular contact go vice versa, but I had not seen him physically in months.
When we got into a heated argument months later he shrewdly made reference to my date from that very night. He denied that it was jealousy- his ego was obviously doing all the talking that day.
While it had my ego doing back flips and cartwheels that he was so obviously hurt by my “date” that night, I should not have let my head get so big. See, he was also out at dinner with a young lady who was his frrrriend. To this day if you ask – we both were out with frrrrriends.
After that argument and weeks later we ended up in tango mode. Our egos danced and spun around happily in temporary bliss, but it didn’t last.
From the moment I knew I had tampered with his ego my internal eyes lit up. I mistook that for power I had over him. Although that particular incident was not intentional, I secretly loved the reaction.
“It takes a great deal of you to see that the other person’s actions may have very little to do with you.” ~Stephanie Dowrick
I mentioned the word ego a lot in this post. Making decisions in your relationship based on ego means that you will never be satisfied. Jealousy is one of those emotions that are easy to toy with and dangerous to play with.
Making decisions based mainly on ego means that you draw your sense of self from what you do rather than who you are. When we allow our egos to lead the way we usually become preoccupied with superior and inferior.
Making decisions based on self or with higher consciousness means that you trust your innate qualities to make decisions, the least bit concerned of what others think because your self-worth does not depend on it.
Sometimes we interpret jealousy as love waiting to come out from behind a smoke screen. It’s very important to realize that jealousy is the ego attempting to undermine self. “Girl he must love you because he didn’t want to see you with someone else.”
We actually set ourselves back when we assume jealousy equates with someone having our best interest at hand. If you are in a situation where you constantly provoke your partner with the jealousy card I beg you to regroup and reflect. To me love, kindness and compassion is not a forced act.
So he saw you with someone else…Go beyond the fact that someone else could possibly be in the picture making him burn with a jealous rage. Is your ideal relationship based upon competition or genuine feelings for each other? That’s an answer only you and your higher self will know.
Do you think that jealousy could help revive a relationship why or why not?