goddess intellect

I came across this clip from the Monique show on the weekend, called “How Black Women SHOULD Treat Black Men”. Now before y’all start shooting off in the comments section, the title hints at a super-sized controversial combo, hot sauce on the side, waiting to be devoured, but when you actually watch the clip, the message is quite different.

The couple on the show Carl and Kenya Stevens of Jujumama.com, briefly explained that there are different roles men and women play in a relationship.

 

In a nutshell:

Men- The leader, the negotiator and decision maker.

Women- The lover, visionary and devotee.

To me the video should have been renamed, “The Ancient Roles Men and Women Play Still Apply Goddammit”.

Kenya Stevens made a very good point when she mentioned that, “submission is a curse word.” I know women in my own life who have been pretty much had no choice but to mentally wear a strap-on at times, myself included. I also know that for the most part, this mental strap-on is a means of survival, used to raise children alone, climb to the top of the corporate ladder, and unfortunately to keep ineligibles at a distance. Without a king actively defending the queen (chess reference pay attention) it’s difficult for her to defend the kingdom.

Once the king is out of the game it’s a wrap, or is it?

I got tired of having my dukes up in life and in relationships because nobody schooled me properly on the game. I became exhausted with seeking to have the upper hand, the last word and doing things that would drug my ego. See these roles are not meant to keep women barefoot in the kitchen against their will, these roles are meant to keep us (man and woman) secure and balanced so that we can run our lives efficiently and effectively.

Too many chiefs, not enough Indians….

There is life after checkmate! With the right partner, one who you attract into your existence that closely resembles your heart, the role of submission won’t seem so scary.

Submission to me is trusting your partner to lead and make sound decisions even though you cannot see the final destination. There is so much power in being able to let go and trust someone, (*whispers* you actually have the upper hand)

We burn out and turn against each other, because the roles are undefined. Look at any of the top organizations and speak to any successful manager with low turnover. They will tell you that within the organization, everyone’s roles are clearly defined, valued and cherished.

Submit to every man? Girl, no!

Just like every man won’t submit to your needs, I will not sit up here and tell you to submit to just any man, especially one who cannot handle power. Like I keep preaching in all my posts, become who you want to attract sans the strap-on. You want to trust, become trustworthy. You want a leader, become someone with leadership qualities. You want an athlete; take care of your body mind and soul. When he comes into your life, you’ll know and dont fight it.

Submission is not a dirty word; it’s an important part of creating balance in a relationship…just my two and a half cents

But..hey, what’s your two and half cents?