I tried to my very best to refrain from calling this post “whose pussy is it?” so I just waited until I reeled you in to the body of the post. Sorry if that is too vulgar for you but let’s keep it real for at least one moment in the day, this is what this issue boils down to. I’ve been reading your letters and listening to my girlfriends, most women desire to be sexually loyal and monogamous for the tenure of any relationship they are in casual or not. They like the feeling of being the only woman, the one who meets all his needs in and out of the bedroom- he supports this with a few lust filled proclaims of his own. That’s wonderful and I can relate I really can, but I’ve never understood why being sexually loyal would play out in a non-committed relationship.
P.s- Part Two of When Is The Right Time To Submit? will be up tomorrow I had to get this off my chest!
Yes there is a level of intimacy you share with your partner with or without a commitment, you have bumped uglies, it feels good and you don’t mind having more. You may have even talked about or shared things with each other that no one else is privy to but the fact remains- you are not committed.
To have yet to title the union is not a crime, casual sex relationships are becoming somewhat of a norm in the dating world however if it is such a task at hand to commit then why would anyone expect or feel obliged to be sexually loyal.
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Never assume that the person you choose to lay down with is going to stick to your genitals like super adhesive nail glue. In fact never assume anything, your responsibility in any relationship, whether that is with your family, friends or romantic partner is to communicate consistently. Instead of assuming that your casual sex partner is only seeing you, ask him/her how he feels about the topic. You may or may not get the answer you are looking for.
There are individuals out there who feel that regardless of whether or not they make a commitment to you they want that “pussy” to be theirs. This to me is the single most confusing piece of bull, I’ve ever typed out on this blog to date, but it’s real.
Feelings and egos get crushed daily because assumptions are made. If you are in a similar situation where you and your casual sex partner have not had this discussion, please have it. If you are being pressured to stay loyal sexually, but this is not being reciprocated- you have decisions to make. You should never feel pressured to commit to someone in any way, shape or form ESPECIALLY if they have yet to show any interest in committing to you. You are not a whore or a slut if you chose to sleep with or date someone else while single. I can’t believe I’m saying this in 2013, in my mind these double standards are so last decade but they still exist.
The purpose of a casual sex relationship is to keep your love life light and for the most part discreet. When a commitment of any type (and yes your genitals count) enters the scene it tends to get confusing, but don’t listen to me….listen to your partner. Whose pussy is it?
Blindfold Speed Dating (Toronto)- March 28, 2013 ***Space for 20 women & 20 men only***
Diva Girl Conference (Toronto) April 6, 2013
The Bedroom Eye Social Makeup Party (Toronto) April 12, 2013 **limited to 10 guests**
Battle of The Sexes (Oakland, CA) April 28 2013 (Tickets on sale soon!)
I’m here for you: To inquire about workshops or ask me any burning relationship questions email firstname.lastname@example.org
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