goddess intellect

I know what you are thinking and no, this will not turn into a five part miniseries like the Fear of Commitment lessons. I just want to let you know that I’ve been there. I’ve juggled emotions and juggled men and maybe at the same time I was being juggled, who really knows.

If you playing your dating cards right, it’s quite common to be put in a situation where you find that you may be compatible with more than one prospect, but the worst thing you can do to is lead someone on.

See it may not have been you who decided it was time to choose, may just maybe you were asked to go to the next level. Maybe prospect# 1 has decided that you are it.

Before making my decision between the two I found that one was more present in my life than the other. He regularly checked up on me, was always there to listen and basically spoiled me with adoration and attention. The other was a bit shyer in terms of initiating conversation, had a more rigorous work schedule, and showed support by listening and doing rather than flocking to my side every time I whimpered. It basically came down to quantity versus quality.

The one who was readily available turned out to have a “double life”, (enter baggage left stage) and although he wanted to take things to another level, he had some unfinished business in his life that I was not about to get mixed up in.

HOL’ UP HOL’ UP: Sunday Jan.15th is the last day to register! Beginning February 2012, I will be offering a special 5-week online workshop “Overcoming Fear of Commitment”. To find out more information and register please connect on twitter @goddess_I  or send an email to: contact@goddessintellect.com.

The one who seemed to have everything working against him, turned out to be the one who stole the show. At one point I wanted nothing to do with either and for a while that’s exactly what happened.

I was frustrated with my choices and myself. It wasn’t until I was close to tears having had one of the worst birthday parties ever that the one that seemed to have everything working against him showed his true colors (I’ll save that story for my book).

Enough about me! Here are some tips to help you make a decision on whom to go exclusive with:

• Be honest: I made sure I let both men know that I was still on the market. This gives the parties involved a choice of whether or not they want to be around.
• Look for balance: Often times I hear chicks in despair because they are choosing between the nice guy who they have no interest in and the bad guy who treats them wrong but “loves” them. That is not a choice that is a headache, open and shut case Johnson. If you’re going to make a choice let it is between parties who stimulate you on all levels and not men/women who cater to one unfulfilled need.
• Ask Questions: I’m not suggesting you turn every conversation into an interrogation, however there is one very important question you need an answer for before making a decision like this. How do you feel about me? If you’re ready to go exclusive and the other person is not, well guess what- it’s not going to happen- open and shut case Johnson.

I used the phrase “open and shut case Johnson” twice. I’m totally missing Dave Chappelle, but I digress.

I believe everyone is deserving of a relationship with a partner who has the best qualities of every person we’ve ever dated. Huh? That’s right! We date to figure out who we are and to discover what type of qualities we desire in a partner.

No discussion questions today, but as always the floor is open- TGIF!