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The Inner Hoe Theory: The Joys Of Emotional Cheating Pt.3

Thus far I have not laid icing sugar on the fact that during the tumultuous times with Mr. Cohabitation I cheated. I’m pretty sure the same exchange was happening in his side of the world as well. But now that I’m reflecting on that time in my life I believe that my emotional cheating far outweighed the physical stuff, although at the time the opposite was true. Cheating was the only thrill I would allow myself to feel, how sad.

My definition of emotional cheating is withholding intimacy from your partner and spouse and redirecting those feelings into other people, places or things.

I surrounded myself with distractions. I worked long hours on purpose, I spent a lot of time with the puppy, I poured energy into caring for my little sister ushering her from activity to activity on a daily basis. I went on giggle binges with my best friend. I dedicated time to everything but the issue that needed fixing.

In the last few months of the longest 7 years of my life things changed dramatically, my sister no longer lived with me and I had to face the music. One distraction was removed from my life and my desire for change began to tug at my soul.

One evening I sat in the car with someone I’ll call mystery man. I had gone 6 months without stepping out or even being sexually ignited at all to frantically trying to dry my hair before stepping back into the apartment. I demanded that mystery man not drop me too close so I had time to walk off my lies.

Mystery man had lectured me about this my situation earlier and I just wanted him to get out of my face. Who are you to tell me…

I felt like a tramp. The next day without hesitation I kicked Mr. Cohabitation out and made a toast to my new really, really single life.

The journey was far from over……..

My heart aches every time I read a letter from a reader who is caught up in a passion-deprived relationship. The feeling is so far yet familiar. You don’t have to answer below but have you ever or are currently emotionally cheating yourself of a quality relationship?

Withholding and suppressing intimacy is the complete opposite of love, so why dwell in it?

A few days left to register–> Save your spot in August’s online Relationship Vision Group Workshop

As a group we will discuss how to:

* Overcome commitment phobia
* Break unhealthy relationship patterns
* Meet your unique emotional needs without coming across as thirsty
* Earn respect you deserve in your relationships by reinforcing your personal boundaries

The best part… can choose to remain 110% ANONYMOUS!Interested? —> email: (please feel free to share with your friends)

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Goddess Intellect

Relationship Coach at Goddess Intellect
Telisha Ng is the Creator of Battle of the Sexes Show, and Goddess Intellect. You can always find Telisha offering fun wisdom and sound advice on relationships. It’s her mission to bring men and women together for love, respect and flirtatious freedom to make the world a better place.
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  1. Sunny (Reply) on Thursday 9, 2012

    I’ve emotionally cheated, when my ex started to step out on me. I spent time with an ex not that we had sex…I just spent time with him and talking about my problems and he listened. I like you, worked long hours and came home and ignored him and his lies.


  2. TeeM (Reply) on Thursday 9, 2012

    My emotional cheating came about (and then blossomed into…)when I found out my mate was not only cheating on me emotionally, but physically. Since we lived together, it just seemed more convenient that I had an outside “friend” as well. My emotional cheating turned into a serious & complicated situation. Since I had already known the outside friend, we began to develop stronger feelings for one another. One thing lead to another and in the end we all were hurt. So, my lesson learned is: don’t cheat–emotionally, physically…period. If we can’t have a mutual respect for one another and remain in a monogamous relationship, then either we’re friends or I don’t want anything to do with it.


  3. Don (Reply) on Thursday 9, 2012

    The last stage of cheating is the physical aspect. That’s why I believe when couples allow themselves the physical side, they’ve just gone to far. They’ve been too complacent or too indifferent to let the spark die.

    Seriously? So you kicked him out of the house. So he moved in with you? I guess you convinced him to. Why would a man move in to stay with a woman? (Me, just thinking aloud)