The most freakish part about being in a new relationship is that moment when you realize that the initial happy go lucky phase is over and real effort is needed, emotional effort that is. You realize this one day as you sit in silence with your premature ejaculator imagination thinking about all the potential scenarios of infidelity while he’s with the boys basking in tube sock testosterone womanless freedom secretly missing your behind periodically wondering the same thing….Could she? Nah…#runonsentenceforthegold
Even the most secure couples have had their minds sway and play tricks, we’re served platters of betrayal galore on a daily basis (Thank you talk shows!). As you stand in the line at the grocery store the newsstand is flooded with headlines of infidelity, weight loss victories and what ifs. Somehow there is this great need in our society for perfection and the idea is that if you are not striving hard enough you’ll become a headline yourself.
He amazes me with his undying curiosity into my psyche. The recent Battle of The Sexes show topic, “Is Monogamy A Myth?” rattled a few cages. It made us come together to discuss a topic that can be painful, curious, tense yet has us yearning to learn more about the opposite sex’s thoughts.
Most men are afraid to dip into the topic of infidelity especially if they are expecting a rather fueled up response so I was rather surprised that the conversation on this topic was brought up by him after the show.
I highly recommend that every couple, beehive and platonic duo have a chat, not only about how they feel about cheating but a conversation about what would happen if, what you accept and will not accept. As someone who has been both cheated on and the cheater I will say that I believe it will happen eventually in a relationship whether it’s in the form of sex or just having eyes for another….Does this make or break you as a couple and how?
Get the fears out into the open, you may find that your partner fears the very thing you do or you may find that they have quite a different perspective on the subject matter altogether.
We’re not having these conversations enough, part of pleasing your partner is learning what causes them pain as well as finding that sweet spot. Respect and integrity is everything to me, I can admit that I would and have taken back a lover who has cheated but I’m not as interested in the past as I am on moving forward together. Are the actions genuine? Is effort being made to mend and re-excite the relationship or is this person just making peace until the next conquests is found?
Let’s not act like fears of being betrayed and hurt don’t resurface in each of our souls from time to time. Everyone is going to get hurt by someone they love at one point but if you’re clear on who you are dealing with and more importantly who YOU are, from a moral and emotional stand point you’re that much more ahead of the game.
Strive for greater understanding, not perfection.
The floor is open…..
Dec.14th- Holiday Mixer [Save The Date]