goddess intellect

Last week’s episode of Menage A Talks, “Friends, Lovers and The Grey Area In Between” had me thinking harder than I’ve had to think in awhile about the whole EX situation I wrote about in the last post. It loomed in front of my face for the entire week and although I made a conscious effort to cease communication with him my issue was still there.

I am skeptical when I hear the term closure being used in the context of relationships. I usually think of closure as in buttons or a zipper closure on a garment. It’s difficult to grasp this concept because I strongly believe that no one relationship really ends. I think our varied relationships with people although the communication may cease actually continue because we carry the lessons and experiences we had with others into the next. It’s solely up to us whether we take along the negative aspects of the past relationship or the positive.

We ended up having a real important conversation that ended in me wanting to throw rocks out the window so that they hit little kids and small animals in the face. I was heated. I was heated because I was still on my way to getting him out my system, but we ended up talking about the very thing that had us separated…I faced my fears, man’d up, all that.

And I did indeed get it all out my system, my emotions, my wishes, my wants, my needs, my L—? And surprisingly enough the openness was reciprocated.  I feel a weight lifted, but I don’t know if I call it closure, I think I call it becoming more mature, emotionally. I’m going to put it in the wind. I refuse to ache and ponder over trivial bs. It’s this nagging need for closure in the back of my head that had me feeling a ways. But close what? We can’t possibly choose the ending to our life stories but we can make the pages come alive or collect dust on the shelf.

I don’t know what’s next; do we always have to know what’s next? Isn’t it enough for our hearts to guide us sometimes? I need to trust myself more. I need to stand my ground more. I need to love a lot harder without fear that someone will run away with something that it is impossible to take…my heart.

What are your feelings on closure in relationships, in death or any other tragic situation?

Do you believe one gets closure on a situation or learns from a situation?