Trust no one. These men are no good. When I hear those phrases it sends chills down my spine. I usually flash a nervous twitchy smile and reluctantly nod my head in perplexed agreement as if I’m being preached to from an imaginary pulpit. If you ever look deep into the eyes of the woman who lets these words roll off her tongue like a casual I love you, beyond the ice cold conviction there is pain and confusion. Our eyes always betray us. Her soul had at some point been left to drown in a sea of passion and now she ministers from a lazy, comfortable yet lonely place.
I don’t know what it is, maybe the universe is giving me reconfirmation that coaching is my thang, but I always run into folks who bear their all to me. Maybe its the warm smile I always have on my face, who knows.
The other day at my local Walmart at cash 4 (yes, I remember), a woman began to give me unsolicited relationship advice, “Never tell them you love them. Let them tell you and respond, but respond as if you don’t care. Leave them thinking and guessing. If you tell them you love them and mean it, which is when they begin to cheat because they know no matter what…they have your loyalty.”
I wanted nothing more than to have this woman hand me my receipt and bag with beauty products so I could head home. It had been a harrowing day at the 9-5 and I was not in coach and counsel mode. Even if I were, the Walmart cash desk is not a poppin’ meeting place. I looked at her hands then asked her how she knew all this. She was older and her fingers had no sign of a wedding band, “I’m divorced,” she protested, “ I learned the hard way. Men are nothing, with them it’s either my way or the highway”.
I had no words for her, sometimes I don’t want to stir the pot. At that moment not only did I want to go home but I wanted to stare her in the eyes, look deep down and leave a satisfied Walmart customer.
I wonder if this woman had any boundaries in place before she said I do. I wonder if she was one of those women who had come to the conclusion that submissive was a bad word.
I don’t want to end up doggy paddling in a sea of passion only to have my goals and dreams cast aside waiting for me on land. I don’t want to end up being a bitter old divorcee cashier at Walmart dishing her life story to young working women and anyone who will listen.
I recently said I love you and even though I was….
Stay tuned for part two tomorrow!
Blindfold Speed Dating (Toronto)- March, 28, 2013 ***Space for 20 women & 20 men only***
Battle of The Sexes (Oakland, CA) April 28 2013 (Tickets on sale next week)
I’m here for you: To inquire about workshops or ask me any burning relationship questions email firstname.lastname@example.org